YOU CAN KEEP ON POINTING B/C I'M NOT PAYING

me: HA. GTTL (name changed to protect the guilty, stands for "Gym, Tan, Toast, Laundry") just sent me an email asking me and X to pay them $59 for water. lol

Serena: she done lost her fucking mind
whoopss

me: HAAAA

Serena: fbomb

me: it's ok

Serena: sorry

me: it needed it for the right effect

Serena: um yes. she friended missy miss on FB. I'm like..
YOU'RE CRAZY GTTL!
YOU'RE NOT FRIENDS

me: it's like the moment she learns someone's name she friends them

Serena: yeah

Serena: she is COO COO CACHOO

[Break in convo; referring to seeing GTTL at a bar]

Serena: damn tequila! throwing me off my game
all I could make out was... DON'T TALK TO THAT STUPID BITCH

Serena: I kept going up to whoever she was talking to
and being like DON'T TALK TO THIS SKANK

Serena: cruise messaged me saying he was sorry for being so drunk
and i was like um no need to apologize to me. i said sorry for yelling at him to stop talking to GTTL. he goes 'who is GTTL'
I LOST it

me: HAHA

Serena: he said 'she must not be that memorable'. I was like, oh cruise i want to make out with you

me: just memorable in a trainwreck sort of way

Serena: she looks like a type of rodent

me: like oh remember when you saw that horrible thing.

me: let me forward you this email. her grammar alone is disturbing. so poor.

Serena: I mean does she really think that you're going to give her money? also, um there is zippy chance that she did all that math right. does she live in an alternate universe? I wish I was coming down there this weekend.

Serena: too bad I'm pretty sure I have a sinus infection
just don't write her back. like EVER. or write...

I have a concern. a concern that you are allowed to walk among normal, intelligent lifeforms on a day to day basis. a concern that you might actually be the first person on the planet to turn yourself into human jerky with the amount of UV exposure you allow yourself to consume.