Friday, May 28, 2010

"There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America." - William Jefferson 'Bill' Clinton

Memorial Day means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For high schoolers, it means that summer break is just around the corner and so is the sweet taste of freedom (too bad the kids will still be in class until we celebrate America's birthday because of the Snowpocolypse). For many young professionals in the DMV, Memorial Day means sitting in seven hours of traffic so that they can blow their hard earned paychecks on sweet tea vodka and STD medication in the hook-up haven that is Dewey 'Beach.' Parents, young children, all have different ides of what Memorial Day means; but there are several facts about Memorial Day that transcend these aged-defined mental images - pools are open and we should be thankful for those who have fought for our freedom and our Country.

In this vain I will attempt to recreate a conversation that I had with B about a week ago regarding her current forms of personal identification.

b: I think that I'm going to get a Texas driver's license, they won't let you buy alcohol at HEB with a Virginia state license.
s: WHAT, that's completely unacceptable.
b: I know, on top of that, they gave me a hard time at the liquor store and basically said they would let it go this time but that I needed to get a Texas ID.
s: Well that's just ridiculous. You know my sister tried to use her passport to buy beer at HEB and they denied her which is just unacceptable. A passport is an AMERICAN identification. This is not the United States of Texas, this is the United States of AMERICA. Next time you get into a situation (hahaha 'situation'), you just throw around the word America as much as you can.

So everyone, on this glorious 'state required work furlough so that it's a four-day weekend,' let us all remember why we get to do the ridiculous things that we Americans like to do like take pole dancing classes, drive gas guzzling SUVs and eat processed foods; it's because of the people that have chosen to put their lives on the line for us. So break out the spray tans and slice up the limes because summertime is here bitches.


  1. Thanks S. I have a little follow up to this story. So after going through 4 hours of F-ING red tape, do you know what I get as a temporary license until my TX one comes in the mail? A piece of paper with my picture on it. A piece of paper that a preschooler could photoshop their face and birthday on to.

    AND they took my fancy, hologrammed VA license away from me.

    So, in my purse, is this stupid piece of paper, a signed receipt from the Department of Public Safety (DPS) saying I surrendered my VA license, and my PASSPORT. BECAUSE NOW NO ONE WILL ACCEPT THE TEXAS "LICENSE" I NOW POSSESS.

    America. F-bomb yeah.

  2. Welcome to Texas, B! Rest assured that it will likely take weeks to get that new license...but you can apply for a concealed weapons permit ONLINE (and likely get it faster - haha). They'd rather serve some redneck bubba in an '87 chevy pickup a gun than provide you with the legal opportunity to purchase/consume alcohol, even though your US GOVERMENT ISSUED ID (aka Passport) tells them you've been legal for a few years. Again, welcome to Texas - the only state in the Union that still has the right to secede...and the only state in the Union that would actually consider doing so.